How are we feeling???

If there's one thing that bootcamp taught me, it's that I can yell "great" whilst grinning and completely lying through my smile.  Thankfully Louise, the trainer at Motivate Bootcamp is fully aware we're grimacing through the pain - but at least when you fake it till you make it, you still make it!

Yes, I spent last weekend in Buxton on a Bootcamp weekend and actually, I had a really good weekend.

I arrived in Stockport to get a lift with a woman I've never met to go off to a YHA hostel just outside of Buxton to be shouted and exercised at by complete strangers.  Proof indeed that I have a weird side...  Thankfully, Hall Bank in Hartington is beautiful - a 17th Century manor where Bonnie Prince Charlie apparently once had his own room.  I was one of a dozen women who'd come for the whole weekend - a Friday - Sunday bootcamp extravaganza!  We started with fitness tests and boxercise, and by that point I'd had enough.

It's fair to say Boxercise was a proper work out - far harder than I'd thought it would be watching other people do it.  Add in the ducking and diving and pasta salad for me and I had the dubious honour of being the first (OK, only!) person to throw up during bootcamp.  One session in!!  First session and I was going woozy, turning pale and throwing up in the toilet.  If I'd been closer to home, I think that would have been the point to admit defeat, decide i couldn't do it and go home.  Harder to do when you're stranded in the countryside and everyone is really supportive and lovely.  Well, except my partner at the prospect of me throwing up on her, but she was definitely encouraging me to have a rest :)

Some cold water, a break and some sheer bloodymindedness and I was back on it, as well as the circuits (apparently burpies also make me feel sick!) and stretches and one hell of a work out.  Circuits were definitely more fun than boxing, especially with a reprieve from Steve on those blasted burpies.

By the time we'd had a shower and some food, all most of us could muster was the sofa in the lounge (although there might have been a couple of escapees to the local pub!) and we had a lazy night getting to know one another a little better and talking about food!  Not helped by the lovely smells of dinner coming from the adjacent restaurant. I made the responsible decision to have a non alcoholic drink at the bar, but may have weirded out the barman slight by telling him I was having an argument with my inner devil.  The devil wanted deluxe hot chocolate, perhaps with a whiskey chaser.  I ended up with soda water.  I'm so good / so not worth undoing the torture of bloody boxercise so soon!

Saturday started with lots of sore bits and an interval "run" - which meant running only down hills and only when Louise was looking.  As well as lots of different classes, I also unfortunately learnt how to do burpies without being sick as Louise proved she's definitely the tougher trainer (I'd managed anything like star jumps by closing my eyes, but it's impossible to do burpies like that).  Apparently the answer is a fixed point of view, like when you're travel sick in the car and hurrah, I'm cured of my allergy to burpies.  Oh joy!!!

The classes were all tough, but the team were great, with a few extra ladies who'd joined us for the last two days.  Team games were fun - especially beating the others at tug-of-war even with Steve on their side.  Even being on the end of the tug of war as the biggest on the team didn't bother me the way it usually would have - it felt much more like just a face rather than a defining aspect of me.

The day was hard, really hard, and there were several times when I felt close to my limit - close to my body not being able to carry on and do what was being asked of it but i battled on, with the encouragement of Steve and Louise who are great trainers, and the support of the wider team.  Whenever one of us was struggling, we were all there to encourage each other and keep each other going, sharing a laugh or a grimace of pain and giving each other the strength to persevere.

Seven hours of training is more than I would have thought I could do, but in actual fact I never reached that limit i assumed I had - it seems my body can do a lot more than I gave it credit for.

The highlight of Saturday was definitely the rather painful sports massage, I could feel the future pain coming out and easing away.  It might not have felt like that every time I got up from the sofa that evening, but I knew when I got up Sunday that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it would have been without it!  I'd actually like to pack her in my suitcase and take her to Nepal with me!!

Saturday night was another sofa night with X Factor and a second early night - we definitely were not the party princesses of Buxton but at least there was hot chocolate for a hard days work!

A lovely Sunday dawned with clear skies and an early walk through the countryside followed by an interval "run" than even Louises encouragmenet couldn't turn into a run.  It might have only been a half day, but they made sure we worked hard to the end and everyone put their every last effort in to the final sessions.

It was a weekend of hard sweat and at least once nearly tears (honestly, I'm not sure my thighs could have burnt more without bursting in to flames) but also laughter and friendship and for all of us the proof that we can push ourselves further and harder, achieve more than we thought we could.

For me, it showed me that even when I think I can't give any more, I can.  My body can do what I need it to, and that better mean 10 days working and climbing my butt off in Nepal!

You can donate towards the 50k whg has committed to raising for Homeless International  here at http://tinyurl.com/sponsorcharlfornepal or by texting HOMELESS to 70099.  You will be charged £2, plus one message at your standard network rate.  100% of your donation will be received by whg and passed on to Homeless International (registered charity number 1017255.

Your own Motivate Bootcamp weekend can be booked here: https://motivatebootcamp.co.uk/ 

I am NOT a goat, that is NOT a path!

Lets be honest, what I was about to do on Tuesday morning was going to be the hardest thing I had ever done physically and probably mentally.  I was stood at the base of Snowdon with most of the Nepal team and now I was expected to climb it, and I honestly didn't know if I could do it.

The night before in the pub, everything had been relaxed and fun and the climb seemed possible, but in the early morning sunshine, fully dressed in walking boots and back pack and far too many layers, I just wasn't sure I could.  I'd had the drama over whether my hydration bladder was leaking (turns out I can't fit a lid properly) and had been for about 3 emergency wee's of my own; I'd packed enough snacks for half the team; I'd not really figured out the reality of what was going to come next.

8.35 am text to my husband: "We're just leaving.  I feel sick.  Nerves and fear of judgement xx"

I was so scared that I would just be no good, that I would let everyone down and they would wish I wasn't on the team, that they'd prefer it if one of the reserves had my place instead.  Of course, the biggest criticism is in my own head, I know that deep down but it's hard to drown out the voices and think that they're not all around not just inside.  Every concern i'd expressed my team had been great about, but it still wasn't enough.

10.00 am: "I already want to cry and go home!!  Now we've stopped I'm good, but the thought of starting again.  We've done 40 minutes and I'm already struggling.  My chest isn't good but I'm determined I will do this, I will not get rescued and kicked off the team!!! xx"

Perhaps mountain climbing with a bad chest wasn't a great idea, but I'd spent all week ill with one thing or another and I was determined to not let this beat me.  Part of me felt that if I didn't do the climb that I would jepodise my place on the climb, and part of me felt if i didn't do the climb that I should just give up my place anyway.  It might have helped if there was a clear path, but there were times when I honestly felt like we were just climbing up random rocks.  I am no a goat, I cannot climb up vertical pathways!!  There was really a point when I just wanted to cry and tell them I was going back down.  My chest hurt and I felt like I couldn't breathe and walk and climb all at the same time, and my thighs hurt and my legs were too short and it was just so hard.

Thankfully the rest of the team were great, encouraging me and believing in me and telling me I could, I was doing it.  If I'd been alone there's no way I could have carried on.

11.06 am: "Got to the next stop, still hard, about half way up but enjoying it a bit more.  Views amazing x"
Amazingly, my fear of heights didn't really kick in - although we were really high the drops were pretty gentle - undulating greenery and amazing lakes certainly helped!  I also learnt that you're not meant to wave at the ever hovering rescue helicopters,thankfully before one came to get me!

11.26 am: "So tired"

Honestly, at this point I just didn't even know how i'd made it this far.  I'd scrabbled over rocks that were randomly assorted and piled up, declared "I am not a goat" and "my legs are too short" more times that we'd sung Disney songs and the peak still seemed so far away. At the time when they were saying we were just 20 minutes away (ha! not at my speed) it still looked miles off, and then people on the route back down kept telling me I was nearly there.  I had to wonder just how desperate to peak I looked trekking up the last length.

And then it was there.  The last bit, the last few hundred yards and a dozen more bloody steps up to the top, to touch the bronze plaque that denotes you have arrived.

I arrived!!!!!

12.20 pm: "I'm here.  Jesus I'm shattered but very proud"

I even took a photo with my ring finger on it so no one can doubt it's mine!!  It felt like such an amazing achievement to do it and get up there (not on the train!) and it felt so good that it was with the team I was going to travel to Nepal with, to know that if (when) I have a crisis, a moment of "i can't, i can't" that my team will have my back, that they will be there for me to rely on and hopefully I can offer that support and love back when i'm not halfway up a pile of rocks!

The team posed together for a group shot, and we got the amazing news that our two reserves (one of whom happens to be one of my best friends!) were able to join the trek and come to Nepal.  I might have cried a little bit, but for all the right reasons.  I will be amazing knowing that Sheleen and I can do this trip together, that I have someone who really gets my silliness and in whom I inspire silliness (although when Suzie was ticking my new cuddly dragon, Gilly, I realised there might be a contender for humouring me!), and that we will have those amazing memories to carry forward together.

The route down felt far easier (on my chest, not my knees) and with the addition of a couple of walking sticks we seemed to drop down a huge height in very little time, leaving us with a long walk around the beautiful lakes and lots of time to take geography-esque photo's (oohhh looks at that seam of granite!  look at the strata!).  I would have happily spent a weekend camping on the side of the lake it was so stunning, but there was a pub stop and a drive home to my husband calling.  Perhaps I can convince my husband to get up there on the train...

When we finally got back to the vehicles I had a well deserved double whiskey to celebrate and we headed home, with aching legs and glad hearts.  It really was an amazing day and even though, two days later, my thighs still ache, I'm feeling so much more confident and excited about Nepal.  I know there's a long way to go - how hard Snowdon was really helped me see how much I have to do if I want to do that four days in a row, but I'm determined, just as soon as I can walk again, to get those legs moving and ready for the next big pile of randomly assorted up rocks!

You can donate towards the 50k whg has committed to raising for Homeless International  here at http://tinyurl.com/sponsorcharlfornepal or by texting HOMELESS to 70099.  You will be charged £2, plus one message at your standard network rate.  100% of your donation will be received by whg and passed on to Homeless International (registered charity number 1017255.

Fundraising fundraising

Selling Cakes for Nepal! 

I don't think any of us wanted to see any more cakes for a while, but it's nice to know that as we're all getting fitter we're filling the tummies of Walsall with cake!  

And the aubergine and lime cake was a taste revelation...

 

You can donate towards the 50k whg has committed to raising for Homeless International  here at http://tinyurl.com/sponsorcharlfornepal or by texting HOMELESS to 70099.  You will be charged £2, plus one message at your standard network rate.  100% of your donation will be received by whg and passed on to Homeless International (registered charity number 1017255.